Adjustments

One thing I really wanted to know before Smiley arrived was what the addition of a new baby to our family would mean in terms of our day-to-day life and logistical reality. So in case anyone is reading this blog who is expecting a third very soon after their twins (or even expecting their second child soon after their first), here are the major adjustments we've had to adapt to and issues we've faced over the last several months:



Zone Defense vs. Man-to-Man: This is probably the single biggest adjustment. With two kids, I was easily able to transport and supervise them myself. When we went out as a family to gatherings, like neighborhood barbecues or birthday parties, generally DH or myself could keep an eye on the kids while the other one hung out with friends, grabbed something to eat and otherwise relaxed. Now outings look something like this: I take care of Smiley, holding her and/or feeding her if she is not sleeping in her carseat, which barely happens any longer now that she's almost six months old. DH keeps an eye on the twins, getting their food and drink, making sure they don't try to pull things down from a counter or eat something they shouldn't, changing poopy diapers, etc. So neither of us really gets a chance to just relax. I've seen DH step up a LOT more now because of this. Before, it was generally me doing all the work with the twins while he got involved in a conversation with a friend or grabbed a bite to eat. Now he's on full duty with either Smiley or the twins. However, it is getting easier as the twins get older and they're able to go off on their own and play. We actually let them go down in a basement playroom at a neighbors' house to play with the "big kids" on their own recently. I was going down every two seconds to check on them to make sure they were OK, but I think it's the start of them getting more independent, freeing us up to take turns with the baby. In fact, we left Smiley with her grandparents this weekend while we took the twins to a birthday party and as the twins played off on their own with their friends, I mentioned to DH that I was actually bored without Smiley to take care of!



Out and About: When I'm out and about on my own, it's a little trickier to transport three kids, especially when one is an infant. At first I was doing a lot of double stroller/baby bjorn combinations but that was waking Smiley up and let's just say Smiley wasn't so Smiley when it was time to put her back in the carseat. So we ended up buying this "freak show" of a stroller which allows me to put Smiley, in her carseat, into the stroller, while one twin sits in the other seat and the other stands on the back. You should see the looks we get when we use this stroller. I really like it despite the fact it's huge. I don't use it all that often because for short walks the twins can walk or I can take the double stroller, put Smiley in one side, a twin in the other, and have the second twin hold my hand while we walk; but for shopping trips when I just need to get everyone in and out quickly or for longer commutes, this stroller is worth it's weight in gold.



Different Ages, Different Stages: I honestly think that it is probably easier to have triplets than to have twins and a newborn, just because of the different needs of the two different age groups. Whereas the twins want me to sit down with them and read a book, wait while they sit on the potty (but of course not actually "go") or play with them outside, Smiley needs to have a bottle, take a nap, etc. If all three needed the same type of attention, it wouldn't be as difficult as giving the two age groups (toddler and infant) different types of attention. There is a sort of economies of scale with multiples. So often I find myself feeling bad that Smiley is sitting in the Exersaucer while I read the twins a story or serve them their lunch, or when the twins are left to play by themselves while I give Smiley a bottle (speaking of which, I ended up nursing for one month and then pumping and bottle feeding-- mostly because of time and efficiency issues-- until she was 4.5 months old). It's times like this that I am actually thankful I have TWO older kids, though, as at least they have a friend to play with while I am busy with the baby. I also realize I'd have these issues no matter if I had just one older child or two...it's simply an issue of different needs for different types of attention.



Scheduling: With a newborn/infant, scheduling is always tricky. Try synching that with the schedules of older twins. Luckily, for now at least, I think I've done a good job of coordinating Smiley's second nap of the day with the twins' one big nap of the day, typically (but not always) giving me one long stretch of time in the afternoon when all three kids are sleeping and I can get things done. But occasionally Smiley will wake up from her morning nap just in time for the twins to go down for their long nap. And you guessed it-- they are waking up from their nap just about the time she's going down for her second nap. I've figured out that if I keep Smiley awake by keeping her out and about in the mornings (which generally isn't difficult since we're always running around with the twins to their activities) I can usually sync their naps in the afternoon. Plus, I try to tweak her feeding schedule to fit into the twins' schedules. Usually it works, but it definitely takes some thought and coordination.



In general, though, now that we've gotten into a routine, things go pretty smoothly and it's fun having a baby around and watching the twins dote on their sister. I can tell already that the three of them are going to be VERY close, and it makes all of the work well worthwhile.