Run Ragged

I'm beat. But I can't stop running around like a crazy woman- I honestly feel like I am on speed or something and I don't know why.

During the course of the last week, I've been out every evening for some volunteer activity or another (ok, one night was our monthly Girls Night Out, so not "work," but still out late and tiring!) I have spent about 10-12 hours devoted to our parents of multiples club (we had our semi-annual sale this past weekend and I volunteered for most of it), 3 hours to planning our neighborhood Halloween Parade (I stepped up to take over the organization of the annual event before I found out I was pregnant...and due around Halloween...my c-section is now scheduled for November 1 so that I won't miss Halloween), and 5 hours working on a newsletter I co-edit. Most of this time is during the evenings, after the kids go to bed, since there is just no time during the day.

I'm notorious for taking on way too many volunteer responsibilities. Whenever we're in a room and someone starts a sentence with, "We're looking for volunteers to help with...," my husband immediately pins both of my hands down and gives me "the look." I think part of it is because I'm a stay-at-home mom after spending several years in the workforce in an intense and workaholic atmosphere (law). Maybe it's part of my desire to stay productive and busy, not that having two 18-month old toddlers and another on the way isn't enough to keep me busy already. Another reason is that I just have a lot of energy and need somewhere to direct that energy.

The catch is that activities- volunteer, kid-oriented, social, etc.- are like crack to me. Not only are they addicting, but they put me in some sort of hyper-overdrive, jacked-up state. My mind races, my hands literally shake, I talk a thousand miles a minute...I feel like the Tasmanian devil in fast-forward. I can't sleep at night because I'm so amped up, so I am operating on very little sleep (maybe 5 hours a night, which is little for me nowadays). Friday night I couldn't sleep so I finally got out of bed at 1:20 a.m. to clean out the future baby's room. I would have gone down to the basement to organize the play room/new office space but I didn't want to have to turn off the security alarm and possibly wake the kids or my husband. Instead, after I had organized the future nursery, I took out a book of NYT crossword puzzles and worked on those until I felt drowsy enough to try to go back to bed. And then I was up at 6:00 a.m. to head back to our parents of multiples club sale, where I volunteered almost all day. And then we went straight to a neighbor's house for a BBQ before heading home to put the kids to bed. After that, I cleaned (scoured) all of the new toys I bought them at the sale earlier in the day.

Is there something wrong with me or is this typical nesting/energy spurt before the new baby arrives? I vaguely remember having insomnia with my twin pregnancy right before they arrived, too. Is this mother nature's way of priming my body for the sleep deprivation I'll experience next month? Whatever it is, I wish I could quiet my mind so that I could actually rest up before the new baby arrives. Instead, I'm like a crazy woman looking for things to do, stuff to organize, activities to coordinate, etc. I try to work off excess energy at the gym, but it's still there. I guess it's good for now because it helps me keep up with the twins at the very end of my pregnancy, but I fear the inevitable crash and just hope it doesn't happen simultaneously with the birth.

Maybe I'm just one of those people who thrive on business- I do love the fact that I have all the energy I do- but I just can't help wondering if it's going to catch up to me one of these days.