Birth Story, Part 2

LS is napping now, but the twins are due to be up any second...let's see how much more of the birth story I can get down before they're awake.


So the first spinal didn't take. My doctor wisely advised me that as horrible as it sounded (and as I indicated by the tears rolling down my face as I realized the first one hadn't taken), it would be "better in the long run" if we "got it right" with a second try. I fully agreed- the last thing I wanted to do was feel anything related to the actual cutting! My hot-shot anaesthesiologist called in his colleague, who was scheduled to attend the next c-section, to give it a shot (no pun intended). In the meantime, he had tried again, which involved about 10 more shots of the topical numbing medication and at least two tries with the big needle going into my spine. All the while, I'm holding on to one of the nurses (I think she was a nurse) for dear life, shaking uncontrollably, either from fear or the large amount of anaesthesia I already had injected.

After what seemed like forever (turned out to be about 45 minutes after the ordeal started), the second doctor got the shot in the right spot and I was laid back down to let it take effect, hopefully. Luckily, when they tested me again I couldn't feel a thing. And from there on out, things went smoothly- and quickly. I did have a bit of nausea but the (new) anaesthesiologist put something in my IV that helped within a few minutes. DH was allowed back into the room as the surgical team prepared to cut, and within five minutes the doctor told DH to get his camera ready for the first shot of his daughter.

A few things I feel I should mention about the surgery itself- first, unlike the twins' birth (which was at a different hospital), DH was allowed to watch, and take still pictures, of anything he felt like watching. With the twins, he had to wait until the babies were born and then he could only take pictures of them- not of anything "behind the magic curtain" (i.e., my blood and guts). So whereas our first pictures of the twins are in an isolette as they were cleaned off, our first picture of this baby is her head emerging from the incision in my stomach. I'd share, but I'm not quite sure how many people want to see that image. The next shot is my first view of LS- and again, unlike the hospital where the twins were born, when I wasn't even able to see the twins until after they were checked out and cleaned up (in fact, my first image of them was not live but on the digital camera after DH took pictures of them and came back to show me as I was being stitched up), this time our wonderful doctor held LS up above the curtain so I could see her.

A second memorable fact about the surgery was that the doctors were all remarking about how little fat I have. I definitely don't mean to brag (and trust me- my stomach muscles and skin are so out of shape it doesn't really matter that I have little fat under it) but it was sort of gratifying, in a sick and twisted way, to hear someone actually looking at my insides that I have little fat, at least in my belly area.

Another interesting fact was how many people there were in the OR with me- I think DH counted at least 12 at one point, including my doctor, the anaesthesiologist, a neonatologist (a surprise since LS was term), and a host of nurses. I was surprised that there were so many people at a "normal" birth- I had expected it with the twins, but certainly not this time.

We had not found out the gender of this baby during my pregnancy, but as I've mentioned before, I felt strongly it was a boy. My official guess was a boy, 7 lbs. 2 oz. Well, so much for motherly instinct: obviously, it was a girl, and she was 7 lbs. 12.7 ounces. For the record, DH guessed girl, 7 lbs. 12 oz, so chalk one up for him!

Another surprise was the fact that LS has a full head of dark hair, unlike our twins who had very little hair and what they did have was light. I still remember the doctor saying, when he saw LS's head (but nothing else yet), "I'm not sure if it's a girl or a boy, but whatever it is has a head of dark hair!" My first reaction was "is he talking to me?" It's still a shock to see one of our children with dark hair, especially because DH is extremely fair and I was born with light hair. However, if anything, LS looks more like me than DH, which again is a surprise because our twins look so much like him. It also made me feel proud and particularly attached to LS right away, as I feel like I finally have a child who looks like me. And even though I didn't think I'd cry when LS was born, I bawled plenty of tears when I heard her cry and saw her face for the first time. For all my thinking it was a boy, and for all my worries about being able to love three children equally, there was no doubt that the moment I heard her voice, I was in total love with our new daughter.

As LS was weighed and cleaned, I was stitched up in what seemed like just a few minutes (I think it was more like a half hour, though). DH brought LS over to my side so that I could see her, and I remember one of the nurses telling me it was OK to touch her so I guess I was hesitant, or maybe feeling too constricted in the position I was in for surgery, to reach out to her. I just remember marveling at how surreal it felt to finally meet the little person who was inside me for so long, how we finally had a face (and a gender!) to put with the movements. I had said several times the night before and the morning of the surgery how I just couldn't picture how our family would look a few hours later- would we have two boys and a girl or two girls and a boy, and what would this baby look like? Now I had my answers, and everything seemed to fall into place.

After I was wheeled out of the OR, I was taken to a recovery area where I was told I'd stay for a couple of hours. I had some bad bouts of nausea, which were effectively treated with some meds in my IV. A nurse came in shortly thereafter to take LS for her first bath and to be checked out by the neonatologist. The neonatologist determined that LS was breathing rapidly, likely because of the fluid still in her lungs because she was born by c-section. She explained that they would monitor her for the few hours I was in recovery and if she did not improve by the time I was transferred to my room, she would go to the short-term (4 hour) NICU, and if she still didn't improve after that 4-hour stay, she would go to the NICU. I felt my first wave of panic- again, while I expected these sorts of issues to come up with the twins (none ever did, thankfully), I never expected them to come up with a full-term singleton.

Luckily, LS's breathing slowed down enough for her to go to my room with me when I was finally transferred. It was still rapid- in the 70's whereas normal range is 30-60, but over the next few hours it slowly came down to the 60's and then into the 40's. The only other issue the neonatologist spotted was some clicking in her hips, another issue that would seem to resolve itself by the time we left the hospital.

Our visitors arrived later in the afternoon, with my father coming first, followed by my sister and her husband, and then my father-in-law (our mothers were with the twins). I most anticipated having the twins come visit- I missed them a lot and just wanted to see their faces. After what seemed like forever (they had to take a nap and then eat lunch before leaving for the hospital), they finally arrived with our mothers and two "It's a Girl" balloons that they told me were for the baby. We spent the afternoon with our families, with me drifting in and out of sleep and and having a couple of episodes of nausea/vomiting from the anaesthesia.

Because of her rapid heartrate, the doctors and nurses asked me to hold off on trying to nurse LS until much later in the day. I was already apprehensive about trying to nurse- it wasn't quite smooth sailing with the twins (in fact, it was the most frustrating issue of the entire first few weeks of their existence) so I had already resigned myself to bottle feeding this new baby. Much to my surprise, however, she took to nursing pretty easily and although she lost weight at first, she actually gained a few ounces before we left the hospital. I have been taking it day by day, telling myself I can always go to formula if necessary, but so far I haven't even given her a bottle of expressed breast milk (ok, once I gave her a few sips just to see if she'd take a bottle). This has come as a complete surprise to me, as I really never expected to nurse this baby. We'll see how things go once DH goes back to work and I'm on my own with the twins, but for now I'm content with nursing and feeling rather confident that it's worked so well so far. After such a horrible experience with the twins, I've been pleasantly surprised to see myself able to make it work this time.

There are many other differences between the early days of LS's life and that of the twins (or at least my memory of it), but that post will have to wait for another day. For now I'm going to take advantage of the few hours of quiet I hope to have as the twins nap and LS sleeps after her last feed.